When I just need to understand...

I can't believe this. A few nights ago I had a nightmare about my siblings dying one by one. (My last blog about dying). Tonight my sister calls me and tells me that my brother Johnny has cancer, and that they don't think it was caught in time. I am so sick of that stupid disease! I hate it! All the money and technology our country has to create better and better cell phones, i pods and movies and we can't find a cure for ONE stupid disease. I am angry, frustrated, scared, and dumbfounded. I refuse to watch my siblings die one by one. I wish the Savior would just come back...