Motherhood is the greatest gift in the world. I prayed and begged for a child. I have the perfect son. Now I struggle with wanting a little piece of "more" for myself. I know that we need a little extra income and UTSA has offered me a GA position that I can do from home, but I have to take at least 2 classes a semester. They have also informed me that as soon as I complete the courses that I need to, I will be given an adjunct position where I can earn about $1500 dollars a month only teaching 6 hours a week! My family badly needs the extra income.
I am currently enrolled in classes for the summer that go from 12 to 2 Monday through Friday. Right now Matt is watching Kale but his classes start on the 20th. So... I pray, I struggle, I pray some more. Do I put Kale in daycare? Do I pay someone to watch him for the 3 hours I would be gone each day? Do I give up the idea of finishing my masters? I thought perhaps I should just wait until Matt is finished with his degree. But the 28 masters credits I have completed were all done in 2003, and after this year will be too old to use towards my degree and I would have to start all over. Is now the time? Should I be working on educating myself more on family history, or cooking, or becoming a better mother? Is the education I am seeking outside the home wrong or ill timed? I keep getting the answer that all the things I pray for are good, but how many prophets have said, "don't let even the good things distract you from what the Lord needs from you." Am I being distracted? Or will this be a true blessing for myself and family?
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4 comments:
honsetly i think it would be great for you to finish up school! think of how much you have worked on all those credits that will just be lost if you don't finish up this year. i don't think it is a crime to want that or escape the house and motherhood for a few hours a day. you have to look at it as a short term thing. it's not like you are signing up to be away from kale 24/7. it's only a few hours for much gained education. i had to drop jimmy off for 2 semesters to finish up my education, and it was hard but well worth it. i would hate to have not finished and be looking back in regret. i fully support you in the desire to finish that masters!!! let me know if we can help in any way!
me again...sorry i've been thinking about you all morning since i read this. so as an alternative to day care you could "hire" a young woman to watch kale snail. that way he stays home in his environment with one on one attention (that you don't usually get from a day care) and the added bonus it will probably be cheaper than day care too! i would suggest the YW you had for the party back in april, or her sister, or maybe make arrangements for them to trade off. they are excellent. they have a good family, they are in your neighborhood, and they are homeschooled so they have very flexible schedules! ok enough of me shoving ideas in your face. sorry if i'm being too forward. i'm just really excited for you and hope you can find a way to make it all work!
I have been sitting here thinking about this - i totally understand your dilemma. I think that this might be the time for you to finsih because you only have little Kale. It will be much harder to do with more children, right? Also, education does nothing but to make you a stronger, more intelligent and gifted mother and wife! I agree with the above post about hiring a YW - it is a double blessing - it gives the YW an income and you the opportunity to know that Kale is well taken care of and being loved. 3 hours a day is a good amount of time to make you realize how very much you love your baby boy! Also, financially what a blessing that would be! Hard choice but I know you will make the right one with you and Matt and the Lord how could you go wrong! Love ya lots, Kathie
I agree with Liz and Kathie. When enough good things poing to making a decision, it would only be wrong to not choose it. We are told by the prophets to continue getting our education. Lots of women end up finishing after they have their children. BYU had tons of strollers there with parents pushing thier kids around as they went to class. It is a normal thing! And, it would do both you and Kale good to be exposed to some other people who love and care for Kale. He's a good kid and would really like the one on one attention for that time period.
God does want mothers in the home, but he never said for them to through away their opportunities to be home for every hour of the day. He wants us to be a knowledgeable, powerful people. That comes from spending time developing ourselves and our talents and abilities!
Go for it! Sounds like some of the changes will be difficult to get used to, but that doesn't make them wrong!
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